Gradient Ocean

Episode 71:

Ninja Gaiden

#71 - Ninja Gaiden
00:00 / 01:04

** Game talk starts around 14:44**

The original NES controller was a brick. It was practically indestructible. Need proof? Ask anyone that played Ninja Gaiden back in the day.

This game was designed to make you want to throw your controller against the wall. You would die and start over, and over, and over, and every time you did, you knew you would inevitably lose and slam your controller against something else. You'd swear (quietly), maybe walk away for a couple hours. But you always came back. And that's the great thing about Ninja Gaiden. Despite it's ridiculous difficulty and rage inducing mechanics, it was always fun to play. It might be the "best bad game" on the NES.

(And to be clear, I don't think it's "bad" necessarily. I just think it's too hard. Call me a bitch, I don't care.)

The enemies re-spawn if you so much as think about turning around after you kill them. They come out of nowhere, and quite often they show up where you need to land after a precise jump. They can be impossible to avoid. Which leads into the second problem. Every time they touch you, you bounce back half way across the fucking screen. If there's a pit behind you, landing in it is a guarantee. Or you'll bounce into another that just re-spawned, and they'll bounce you into the pit. And then you'll start over, and you'll know it's coming, but they'll get you again. And then you'll finally get by them only to die because you dropped down to the next screen instead of taking the ladder. And that'll be your final life, and you'll start over and bounce into a pit again and WHAM!!!

That was your controller hitting the wall.

This game drives me insane. But I can't stop playing it. My buddy and guest Bradley McCue knows the feeling. We'll tell you all about it on this week's podcast. Enjoy!

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